Monday, January 24, 2011

When it's dark enough...

 When Eric was getting ready to start chemo 5 years ago, he spoke to his track team at WSU about life and trials.  He shared a quote with them by Charles Beard that says, "When it's dark enough, you can see the stars."  They designed a bracelet with that quote and Eric's initials, which they sold as a fund raiser to help subsidize Eric's medical expenses.  The reason I share this story is that for the last 5 years, Eric and I have been wearing our bracelets.  They have been a constant reminder to us that our trials help us appreciate the good.  For example, Eric's bad health has helped us appreciate when he feels "good."  The morning that Andrew died, we went to the temple.  I was sitting in the back row crying my eyes out (everyone was looking at me like I was crazy), and I looked down at my bracelet and reread the quote I had read thousands of times.  When I read it this time, it had a different meaning to me.  It struck me in a way that it never had before.  Life seemed to be as dark to me as it had ever been.  I had no idea how we were ever going to get through this.
We have and are getting through it.  The Gospel is amazing.  It constantly amazes me the amount of peace and comfort we have been blessed with.  We now have a different appreciation for life and for being parents.  We have a different understanding of the gospel, our Savior, the resurrection, and many more important parts of the gospel.  
I went through all of the folders that could have pictures of Andrew to see if I missed any good ones.  I found a few that I love.
 Andrew was most content on Eric's lap.
Andrew LOVED his baths.
 Love this boy!
He had the most kissable lips ever.
 Handsome boy.
 I have no idea what Andrew is doing, but he is so stinkin' cute!

Andrew was the most patient boy.
Andrew loved his Sara.

 The rest of these pics are from the last few days.  Trav sleeps with four blankets and at least four stuffed animals.  He loves his tiger.  This is where it was when I checked on him.
 Been practicing more photography skills.

 Jared is the "spit-up monster," according to the kids.
 We took the kids bowling the weekend before Eric started school and I forgot to post this pics in the last post.  They had tons of fun for about five rounds.

I couldn't get Tann to give me a natural smile.  He is such a sweet/fun boy.

 My favorite one I got of Trav.


Katie The Lady said...

I have never heard that quote before- it is beautiful! And what a great reminder to keep trying and crawling through the dark times in our lives. I think my absolute favorite part about living in the country (Rexburg) is seeing the breath taking night sky when we are out in the dark.

Andrew was, and is such a beautiful boy- I love his "blue Steel" Zoolander faces. All of your children are gorgeous and you guys are very blessed with such a wonderful family. What a comfort they must have been for you during the past month.

Emma and Dan said...

I love that quote too. It is so true, and very similar to one of my favorites: "The sun is always shining behind the clouds." I hope that you are feeling some rays of sunshine during this terrible storm. You're strength amazes me.

I shared a little of your story and your testimony with my YW at church. I so badly want them to understand what a powerful help the gospel and the love of our Heavenly Father can be to each one of us! I'm keeping you and your beautiful family in my prayers.

I love, love the two photos that you put up with the captions about kissable lips and handsome boy. With those dark eyes and pouty lips, you can't help but love that sweet face! He's gorgeous!

Melanie said...

Jenny--you have such a unique perspective on life. What an inspiring story you have and an amazing faith to bless the rest of us. We love you and continue to pray for your family.

Debbie said...

I have no idea how you must feel missing your baby so much. Your perspective and understanding of the gospel is a great blessing right now. Thanks for putting your thoughts and feelings into words. I am learning so much from you.

Eeshie said...
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