I miss having to keep the dishwasher closed or it would get unloaded onto the ground. I miss snuggling and squeezing and kissing Andrew all of the time. I miss his chubby little hands holding mine. I miss his smile that he would freely give. I miss crayons thrown across the room. I miss Andrew sitting right on top of Travis' puzzle. I miss the kisses he would give Jared. I miss him crawling after Tanner into his room to play with him. I miss asking Aubree to put Andrew down. I miss Andrew pointing at everything around him that he wanted to touch. I miss his "talking" and saying "mama" and "dada." I miss having to pick little things off the ground. I miss buying tons of yogurt, bananas, and eggs. I miss feeding Andrew food and having him bite on the spoon with every bite and getting the biggest grin. I miss Andrew's deep belly laugh (he was so ticklish). I miss seeing Eric sit and hold Andrew on his lap, so content. I miss using a high chair and sippy cups.
I can't believe it has been almost three weeks. I never want to forget anything about Andrew (the picture above is a face Andrew would always do that we LOVED).
I am so thankful to have had such a perfect boy in our family and home. He has forever changed me. I am so grateful for the knowledge we have that I know I will see Andrew again. I am so excited for that day that I get to hug him again.
Most of theses pictures are from the day of Andrew's funeral.
A lady from my parents ward made us an awesome blanket.
Our Dad's were the pall bearers.
The UW dental school sent the flowers above. People have been so kind. It is really humbling to be receiving so much love and generosity from people (even people we don't know). This week Eric's dental school class bought a parking pass for our family, so we can visit Eric at school. It will be really nice to be able to see Eric more often. This week seemed pretty long. It is really weird trying to move on with life. We have had our good and bad times, but we have pictures of Andrew all around our house, and it helps me remember he is OK. The pictures remind me what is important and what I'm striving for.
We had the amazing opportunity of meeting and spending time with Andrew's birth mom this weekend. She is so great; she is my hero. When I saw her, I could see so much resemblance of Andrew in her face. Her eyes were so much like Andrew's. Eric and I both felt like we had already known her. She is so special to us. Because of her, we had an angel boy in our home. She is so unselfish and loves Andrew so much that she blessed him with a dad. She has two kids, and they reminded me so much of Andrew. Eric and I both wanted to keep hugging her little boy that reminded us so much of Andrew. She shared with us a lot of her experiences and how she chose adoption and our family (I am going to dedicate this story to its own upcoming post).
I was really comforted to know how obvious the Lord's hand was in guiding Andrew to our family. How grateful I am that Heavenly Father trusted Eric and I with that amazing blessing of being his parents for those 14 months. Andrew is such a special boy.
A lady in my parents ward supplied us with balloons that we sent up to Andrew. It was cool for Aubree and Tanner to think they were sending the balloons to Andrew. Travis didn't want to let go of his, and we still have it.
The coffin Andrew was buried in came with a little teddy bear that has become Tanner's. He sleeps with it every night. The kids each have their own "Andrew stuffed animal" that they sleep with and snuggle with when they miss Andrew.
Aubree says the best prayers now. She has such a mature understanding of the importance of the Temple and being sealed there. Aubree always prays for Andrew and prays for us that we can have his love in our home. She sure misses her little brother.
We are so thankful for Andrew!
Somedays, I don't know what I would do if I didn't have my arms full of this boy. I'll admit, he hasn't been put down that much in the last three weeks.