One Year Ago Today...

Having the kids sealed to us are some of the most awesome experiences we have ever had.  In our family, we celebrate the day each of the kids were sealed us.  We make a cake and celebrate our eternal family.  The kids love celebrating their anniversaries.  One year ago today, Andrew was sealed to us.

When Aubs and Tann were sealed to us, the kids were brought to the sealing room first, and Eric and I entered last.  With Andrew, Eric and I came in then waited for all the kids to come in.  We could hear them making noises down the hallway, and as they came in I was overcome by the Spirit and how special the day was.  I think I cried through most of the ceremony.  Andrew was so perfect that day.  Eric's mom had made all the kids perfect white clothes, and Andrew had the cutest one piece outfit with a vest and bow tie.  He was so happy and easy going.  Andrew had gone without his morning nap, but was still our same, special little boy.

This special day has taken on a new meaning after Andrew died.  It is because he was sealed to us that we know we will see him again.  It is still pretty surreal that instead of celebrating his anniversary with him here, we spent this last week picking out his headstone.  I'm so grateful for this sweet boy.  I am so grateful that we are so blessed in being his parents.  I miss him so much!  I miss his chubby hands, his funny faces, snuggling with him, holding him on my hip, feeding him yogurt, tickling him, and so many more things.

I am so deeply thankful for the understanding that our family relationships can extend beyond this life and into eternity.  I love my angel son, Andrew.

6 Months

Jared turns 6 months old today.  He had his well child appointment this morning and is 17lbs 5oz.  Jared loves to eat and has the cutest personality.  He is so nice and has the cutest open mouth smile.

Tanner is awesome!  He keeps me on my toes and I love teaching his primary class at church.  We were driving home the other day and Tanner told me he can't wait till Andrew gets "back together again." 

Jared Bear

Aubs loves taking care of Jared.

The weather here in Seattle has been extra rainy lately, so the kids each made their own forts.

Jared is growing up too fast.  He loves eating solids and loves playing in the saucer.

I am constantly blown away at how kind people have been to us.  We are still getting cards, notes, and presents.  We got a package in the mail from someone we don't even know, with wrapped presents for all of us.  

Travis got some Toy Story figurines.  

He carries them with him all the time.

Aubs posing with her new toys.

Sara and I got this footage of Jared dancing.

I had to add a picture of my hott husband.  He is so wonderful.  Starting today, he has 11 finals in the next four days.  We are so grateful for him and his hard work!

Travis has been really into drawing and coloring lately.  This is the tiger he drew.

I love how big Jared looks.  This is the first picture I have took of the kids all together since Andrew died.  It isn't as fun to take pictures of them all together with Andrew missing.  I am so grateful that we got to have Andrew in our family.

We went and visited some of our good friends and when we walked into their house, their seven year old son walked up to Aubree and said, "So... I heard you had a funeral."  It was really cute.  I love how kids are so innocent and say exactly what they are thinking.  Most adults don't know what to say to us, so they either don't talk to us or talk about everything but Andrew.  We love talking about Andrew and love when people want to talk to us about him.  

ANDREW MEMORY: (By Aubree) "He was a really nice boy.  I love him.  He loved to pull my hair and I thought it was funny when he pulled Travis' hair.  We miss him.  I got a slushee for my birthday and shared it with him.  I loved holding Andrew and taking care of him.  I loved putting Andrew on the couch and then letting him climb down onto my lap.  I loved letting him ride on my lap down the stairs.  I loved spending time with Andrew and I am so excited to see him again someday.  I miss him." 

Missing Andrew

Today has been one of those days where I just want to climb in my bed and sleep and not think so much.  I miss Andrew a lot today.  It hurts...  I love watching videos and looking at pictures of Andrew.  It helps me to appreciate the time we had with him.  I love all of his facial expressions.  Make sure to at least watch around 1:35 on video to see Aubs interaction with Andrew.  The full video I made with pictures and video is also on YouTube.  

Brother of Andrew

Aubree got herself all "dressed up" with a pretty headband and everything, then asked me to take pictures of her.  If you could see her lips up close she even put lip gloss all around her lips and put on her high heels.  Aubree is pure girl.

She wanted a picture like we have of Andrew in front of our orange door.  

Travis loves to hold Jared (Jared is getting huge).

I was putting Jared's 3-6 month clothes away and getting out the 6-9 month clothes and Travis found this tiger jacket.  It is 3-6 month size.  He had used water paint on his face to make himself look like a tiger, and the combination of a little hood on a big head made Trav look pretty ridiculous.  I can't look at this picture without smiling.

Jared is so sweet.  He is starting to be a huge squawker.  He has the cutest, wide open mouth smiles.

We decided to try out the children's museum in Everett.

Tanner's favorite part was the water area.  He could've played there all day.

Getting used to shooting manual indoors.

Another open mouth smile.

For at least the last year, the kids have been earning tickets.  They earn these tickets by obeying our family rules.  When they are obedient, helpful, respectful, and kind they get tickets in their jar.  When they fill up their jar, they get to go on a BIG date with Dad AND Mom.  On Saturday, Aubree got enough and she cashed them in.  She got to pick where she ate (McDonalds Happy Meal), pick a toy at Target (below), and then got to get a milk shake.  She thought she was in heaven.  The whole day she asked me when her Dad was coming home so her date could start.  

This is the doll Aubree picked.  The doll talks and goes to the bathroom.  

I threw in an extra picture of Tanner I took back when he had the wood glue in his hair, because I didn't have enough pictures of him in this post.  I need to slow him down and take more pictures.  Tonight for family home evening, we were talking about following the prophet and we were going through the prophets in the Book of Mormon.  I pointed to a picture of the Brother of Jared and asked who he was.  Tanner said, "The Brother of Andrew."  It was really cute.

 When Andrew passed away our info on the side of our blog said, Our five beautiful children are, Aubree 4, Tanner 3, Travis 2, Andrew 11 months, and Jared is our newborn.  It has been hard for me to finally get the info about our family updated.  I don't know why, it seems like such a weird/small thing.  I miss him!  The kind of grief I feel now is changing.  It is a different hurt.  It is so hard to be forgetting the little details.  I hate that I am forgetting how Andrew felt, his hair felt, the shape of his head, his pudgy hands, his smell and so many other things.  I know it is life.  It is weird how life goes on.

ANDREW MEMORY: Andrew had a special relationship with each one of his siblings.  Aubree and Tanner would always play "house" with Andrew.  Most of the time, Aubree would be the mom of her two boys, Tennis and Bennis.  Andrew was Tennis and Tanner was Bennis.  They would play on Tanner's bed forever.  Andrew would climb up and down Tanner's bed.  Sometimes it would end up just being "Tennis" and "Bennis" playing and giggling at each other.  We love and miss you Andrew!